READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
