I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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