I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you still have your period?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
