Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
