Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
