It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
