i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
