I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize