okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
