No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
