My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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