I just saw a hot homeless man
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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