So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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