shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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