you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
