Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
