in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
