And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
