No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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