Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
