Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
