brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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