i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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