I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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