He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
