a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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