she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
