it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
