How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
