Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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