She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
