I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
