It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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