All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
