He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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