WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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