stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
