this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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