i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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