Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize