As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
