It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
