Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
