I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
