Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
