This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
