OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
