Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
