Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
