too bad you live with your parents still
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
