I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
