Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I AM VODKA MAN
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize