it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
