Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the liver wants what the liver wants
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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