We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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