The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Barsexuality is the new black.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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