Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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