I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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