just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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