This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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