dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
