If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
