on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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